WONKAvision for YOU!

THE VESSEL HAS LANDED - After the Great Glass Wonkavator deposits Charlie and Grandpa Joe amidst the GRAND AND GLORIOUS JACKPOT that is Wonka Chocolates Unlimited, a child is faced with big business problems.

Demand sharply increased following the jump on Golden Tickets, however; disenchanted customers seem to have fixed their sugar craving or switched to Slugworth’s. Alongside debate about Wonka’s succession to a 12 year-old, a rampant contamination (strain: A. Gloop) destroyed 28% of Q1 chocolates, pressing the existing population of Oompa Loompa’s to work harder and longer hours to recover losses. In parallel, an outbreak of VERNICIOUS KNIDS* decimated the precious Oompa Loompa’s mid-Q1 - now identified as an endangered population working under questionable conditions at the Wonka factory.

So what’s next for the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted?

A credit perhaps to his youth, Charlie is quick to admit defeat and hires HAZEL ANALOG from GOLDEN RULE to perform a thorough business analysis. Although HYPE GIRL MEDIA was unable to obtain the confidential report, immediate actions following GOLDEN RULE’s assessment involved hiring Charlie’s mother to run daily operations, increasing workplace diversity to drive innovation, and expanding healthcare benefits and resources to support long-term employee engagement and career development. Details should emerge in coming weeks on success or failure of additional corrective actions - or as Mike TV likes to say: STAY TUNED!

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*Stuart, Mel. (Director). (1971). Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. [Film]. Warner Brothers.